Untold story…

I love sitting down with a good friend over a nice cup of coffee and catch up on life. The real raw discussions you know? Not just the hey how are you? Good! Ok talk to you whenever.
It is amazing when people just start to tell their story. There are the people who want their story heard so they talk about it to everyone and all the time. There are also the ones who would rather just sit back and listen, talk when they feel necessary, but then just go back to listening. Normally I like these kinds more because then I can do all the talking. Selfish? Maybe, but it is what it is.
The other day I had one of those moments where I just got to sit, sip my coffee and hear a good friends story. And it wasn’t at all what I expected. He just said, “Hey, can you listen for a bit. I need to talk to you but there are a few rules.” Right there I was caught off guard. Rules for talking to someone? He then said, “First, no matter what this cant change our friendship, and number two you cant feel sorry for me, and number three you cant think I am a gross person.”
Now he had my full attention.
He went on to tell me about his life from a early age. Things I was not expected to hear, nor did I in all honesty want to hear some of it. He started to tell me and describe in detail the horrific things that had happened to him starting all the way back in kindergarten, through grade school and on through high school. And how finally in college he was able to get away from it all. How at very young his best friends older brother would take advantage of him when he went over there for sleep overs, or when his parents were out of town and his best friends family was watching him. And how eventually his best friends dad started to join in, and he basically was their toy for the evenings he was there. He could not tell anybody out of both fear and shame. And then when he got a little older and his family moved away, and he thought the nightmare was over for good, but the same thing started happening again with a different guy, but more forceful. How he woke up in 6th grade at a teen church event and one of the older guys in the youth group was forcing himself on him, and again threatened him not to tell anyone ever. If he would not do what the guy said, then he would start hitting him. This went on for years. Basically his entire school life. He went off to college and was confused on sex, love, trust, people, God, everything. However, he hid it very well. No one knew. Not his family, best friends, no one other then the nasty people who did it to him.
Why did he talk about it to me? Not sure. I think he just needed his story to be heard. The feeling of alone is a rough place to be, and when you have nightmares to go with it just makes it that much worse. You would have no clue by talking to him or seeing him that anything happened. Sad way to live life. He wants desperately to know where God was through all this. He wasn’t asking me to tell him, he knows all the “church” answers. He needs and wants a real experience, a reason to think that this wasn’t just bad luck. And I wish I had the magic answer to make it all just go away.
I don’t know why this happened to him or any kid. I wish I could take his pain away. We all have stories, we all want or at least need to be heard. The one thing about your story is just that. Its yours.


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